Elevators and etiquette

I don't know if anyone else has seen the newest and horribly annoying Hall's cough drop TV commercial, but I'm thinking of writing Cadbury (their parent company) and telling them to keep their damn drops -- I'll be buying anything else but their brand this flu and cold season.

For those who have not seen the spot, let me provide a synopsis. A young man enters an elevator and pushes the button for his floor. On his way to his destination, other people enter the elevator (Horrors!). It seems our sloppily-dressed protagonist must share his space with others. Now mind you, as each new character enters the elevator carrying a plethora of items, our anti-hero stays glued to the center of the elevator. He does not even try to make room for others entering his space. Apparently, these other people are an affront to his desire for more room. So, he pops a Halls menthol drop in his mouth and this act is enough to plaster his spatial opponents (now in flattened formats) against the walls of the moving room. He stands smugly, still in the center, and now offers these deflated interlopers a drop.

My, but if he'd just been that courteous initially, he'd never needed to proffer his medicinal offerings. (And when did a cough drop jump from the shore of medicine to the desire for more space?)

Perhaps this commercial gets under my skin a little more than it should because of my college years. For three years, I lived in a nine story dorm. We all used the elevators frequently. The custom, at least for that part of North Carolina, was to allow all users to exit the elevator before anyone else entered. Step One in the rules of etiquette. When the elevator was unusually full, a kind-hearted soul would stay on and push the Open button until the elevator was empty and a new person could enter and resume her role. Step Two of elevator etiquette. If Step Two was not necessary, Step Three was. The first person to enter the elevator was to hold the doors open and then to enter the floor numbers as they were called while each person entered the elevator. This method provided a nice, courteous and orderly fashion to elevator ridership.

Occasionally, a non-courteous person would enter the elevator first, punch her button and then slouch to the side or stay in the center. This obvious lack of protocol would cause a breakdown in the whole system. The elevators would now close abruptly and leave everyone else waiting for the next elevator (or you could hurt yourself trying to manually stop the doors. Apparently, an electronic eye was too expensive for our institution to install.) The second worse offense would be if someone had already positioned herself in front of the button board and was taking orders upon entry. A rude person would enter and strike her needed button in the face of the person being courteous. Yes, it's rude to violate a person's space, it's rude to assume they don't speak English or understand numbers, and it's rude to assume she lacks the same manners as the offending person.

I don't want to say that such etiquette of elevator ridership exists throughout the South. I've neither lived nor visited every southern state in the union. Since Maryland is a state of mixed cultures, both courteous and rude riders share elevators often.

Displaying etiquette and kindness no longer seems to be a priority in our society. Oh, it still exists, particularly among people who know each other. But I don't want Hall's or Cadbury to push courtesy further down our list of priorities. I don't want Hall's pushing its drops on a public with a nod and wink, saying, "We know you don't want to share your elevator, your office, your town, or your country with those people. They're not good enough to share your space."

Perhaps if the young man had selected his button, retreated to the back of the elevator, and made room for the other riders, he'd still have a complete pack of Hall's menthol drops -- just in time for cold season. And I hope he gets a really nasty cold this year.

Oh my gosh! and then relief

First of all, let me say -- WooHoo! Yippee!! We ACTUALLY won!!!!! For the tiny population that reads this blog, you probably wondered why there were no updates leading up to the election. It's a personal trait my husband finds frustrating. I'm extremely superstitious. Religious? No. Superstitious. Oh yeah. I was terrified if I wrote one word saying that it looked good for Obama, I would curse his campaign forever. I just couldn't live with that kind of guilt. I know, I know. It's mighty egotistical of me to think my thoughts would have actions on the universe. But you never know, and I had to be safe and not sorry this time around.

For those who lived through the 2000 and 2004 elections, you understand my reticence. I was hoping the general population was for Obama, but I have family members who were/are terrified he'd win. Initially, I was amused at their fear. He's Muslim. Well, no. But even if he were, how would that change our lives? And I'm sorry, I just do not see Michelle donning a burka. He's a terrorist. Sorry, that's Karl Rove's department. He's going to ruin this country. My personal favorite. It's so incredibly vague that it can't be fought. Now, if by that statement you're implying that white, Protestant, straight pro-lifers won't be running the country anymore, you're right. But that's not my definition of ruining the country. I personally think that was done by the white, Protestant straight pro-lifers. And I know that some black people voted for Obama because he's black. I have no problem with that. I know some white people voted for John McCain because he's not black. Kinda works both ways, doesn't it?

However, my amusement turned to concern election night. My husband had election burnout and retired to another room. I stayed up with the remote clutched tightly, jumping from channel to channel to compare results. I was cautiously elated when Obama's electoral votes vaulted to the triple digits. And then the numbers stagnated. John McCain's projected wins started inching closer. I knew it wasn't my fault. I had superstitiously guarded my words. However, I was concerned. Not only did I not want the Republicans to win, I didn't want to think that the majority of Americans actually wanted four more years. I didn't want to live among people who thought that John McCain was stronger on national security because he'd chosen a hockey mom/pitbull for a running mate.

And then the Pacific rim rang in at 11:00 pm. Obama had won!!! And what did I feel? Happiness? For a short while. Joy? For a few seconds. And then I realized, I felt relief more than anything else. This was still my country, and it was heading in the direction that I wanted it to go. My priorities would be the nation's priorities for the next four years. The environment is now important. Diplomacy is now important. Dogs are now important! My views have been so vilified over the past twenty years, that I want to prove that my goals won't ruin the country. Just give us a chance. And maybe all those McCainiacs will see that Democrats and liberals aren't such bad people with such awful aspirations after all.

Hope and shame

After feeling pummeled by the innumerable blue and white signs touting McCain/Palin, I started feeling like we were going to have yet another four years of denied access, unconstitutional wiretaps, and bad government. I wasn't in the mood for company, but my husband and I invited over an elderly couple to join us for supper. They are wonderful neighbors, and Jack has been recently diagnosed with liver cancer. After everyone had their cocktails, we ventured into the discussion of politics (an easy feat since political ads have overrun the airwaves in NC). The older gentleman, a WWII veteran, confessed he'd been a Republican his whole life. His parents had been Republicans. He'd always supported the Republican party.

However, this year, he's thinking of voting Democrat. He doesn't like the direction the country is heading. He doesn't like how we have lost respect around the world. He doesn't like how the Republican party is running/ruining McCain's campaign. And he likes the optimism the Obama campaign offers the nation. He'd like to see the USA stand for integrity and freedom once again -- like it did when he was fighting in Europe as a young man. For the first time in his adult life, this man will enter the voting booth and vote Democrat.

What hope his words brought to me. Despite all the signs and bumper stickers, I now know that there are many more people who think like I do. And shame on me for thinking I knew how he was going to vote. Shame on me for creating a stereotype. And shame on me for doubting that hope would win this time.

The "L" word

I was watching the news this morning and heard that John McCalin is going to stress in his next debate that Obama is liberal and he is conservative. This is one liberal who wishes the "L" word was more descriptive and less pejorative.

I used to be more conservative than I am now. I cheered when Ronald Reagan was first elected (since I was too young to vote for him). I had witnessed our country lose (1) a war, (2) its standing in the world, and (3) its ability to provide energy to its own people. In case you are young and don't understand the references, we had lost and had to flee the Vietnam War, Iranian students had overtaken our embassy and held our citizens hostage, and gas lines had prevailed in the 1970s.

Americans were ready for a strong leader. We didn't like being made fools in the eyes of the world. We wanted someone who would not only be strong for us, but would strike terror in the hearts of our enemies.

Now that I am older, I look back at that notion and wonder if that is how the followers of Osama bin Laden feel. No, I'm not excusing the violence his followers use. I'm just hoping that if I changed, maybe they can, too.

What changed me? I'm not sure. I don't think it was just one or two instances. I think it was talking and listening to people who held views different from my own. I think it was reading world history and learning that we weren't always the good guys. I believe it was reading the news from another country's perspective. It was about moving beyond my "small town morals" and realizing that not everyone in the world thinks like I do or feels like I do.

I moved myself a little to the left, and then Bush 41 moved the Republicans more to the right. Where I had originally been a little right to the center, now I found myself more left. Did I move that far left or did the Republicans move that far right?

It took a while before I could embrace the word "liberal." And then I began using the word beyond politics. Would I like a liberal amount of ice cream or a conservative amount? Would I like to receive a liberal pay raise or a conservative pay raise? Would I like a liberal pharmaceutical coverage plan or a conservative one? See, when you move the word beyond politics, it has a very pleasant meaning.

To me, liberal means "more" and conservative means "less." Whereas that at one time referred to financial excesses, the present Bush administration has blown that idea right out of the water. The less in the Republican party means less able to see someone else's perspective, less able to consider an alternative to war, less able to embrace alternative energies.

I guess the McCalin/Pain ticket knows it has already lost my vote and will try to scare independents back into the conservative corral by chasing them with the liberal brand. I just hope people realize it's not the "L" word that should scare them. It's the pit bull and the tired old horse that are calling themselves mavericks, but are really a dog and pony show.